Before coming to New Jersey, if someone had asked me why I was going to the retreat, I might have had to take a moment or so to think about my answer. Sure I wanted to learn how to help Tzu Ching here at OSU and in Columbus, but there was a slight uncertainty in my heart. Maybe I was coming because my friends at OSU had decided to go and I was simply tagging along. Whatever the case, I was not quite sure what to expect at my first retreat. In the three days I spent at the NJ Retreat and the following days, however, I've come to realize it was one of the best decisions I've made in my life.
Having only very recently stepped out into the adult world and seen the world for what it really is, I feel that my parents have shielded me form much of the real world. Seeing all this conflict in the world, both natural and man made, it was extremely easy for me to become discouraged and pessimistic towards other people. Listening to fellow Tzu Ching at the New Jersey Retreat, along with SG's, SB's, and Masters from the Jing Si Abode, I really believe that Tzu Chi is the best way I can help the world. It was there at the Retreat, hearing first hand stories about how Tzu Chi Volunteers help people all around the world, that I realized I could confidently say I wanted to be a part of Tzu Chi for the rest of my life.
Now comes the part where I talk about what I learned at NJ. What was the greatest thing I learned? I learned that in order to improve the world around me, I would have to change. In my 8 years of doing volunteer work in Tzu Chi, I've always just followed others around. Sure I fulfilled my tasks to the best of my ability, but I've never taken any action to lead. During the Retreat, I experienced some slight awkwardness when I was asked for advice/experiences from fellow Tzu Ching who were technically less experienced, but far more active in their roles. Perhaps I had been too complacent with my involvement with Tzu Chi. At these moments I was asking myself what had I been doing my last few years and resolved to take up more leadership roles in the future.
I really do believe coming to NJ was one the best decisions I made in my life so far. I've always been told what Tzu Chi is about, from both my mother and the SG's and SB's here at Columbus. At NJ, I was able to feel what Tzu Chi was about and on a far greater scale than any Tzu Chi event I had attended before. I, for one, had never seen so much of the Tzu Chi family gathered together in one place. Normally I'm somewhat distant towards people and I make only a few true friends, but it was so easy to connect with fellow Tzu Chings at NJ. It's hard to explain, but there was so much positive energy at NJ, it was impossible not to make friends with everyone I met. I also had a great time teaching 大地和風拳 despite being in front of so many people and the feedback I got was all positive. All in all, I'm really grateful for the opportunity to have been able to attend the 2001 NJ Retreat and to the people who made it possible. I look forward to future Tzu Ching Retreats, and in the meantime, I'll always be sure to be more mindful while walking my own path. 感恩!
Written by Tzu Ching Alex Xu
Photo by Tzu Ching Yuru Yang
